Recurring Conflict
by Lady Bagheera
Summary: Sarah and Jareth revisit a recurring argument.
1. Chapter 1

The usual disclaimer applies

_**The usual disclaimer applies.**_

"Why can't you just admit it?" she screamed at the mirror.

The owl, always near, flew silently into the room. He kept that form, knowing she was less likely to strike the bird. _I cannot, Sarah._ He spoke directly into her mind; it had become the easiest form of communication between them.

She spun to face him, knowing exactly why he chose to stay in his owl body. Peering at him, she gave a weary sigh. "You act like you love me: I am allowed things no one else ever has been, and you spend a ridiculous amount of time and energy protecting me from things I don't need protected from. But still you won't say it!" She held her hands out to him.. "I can FEEL it, Jareth." Tears streaming down her face, she wrapped her arms around her middle and crumpled to the floor.

_Sarah, I…_

"Just stop," she sobbed. "I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. You have continually tested me and put me through hell – but still I love you. And you love me – but you can't say it? What the hell is so wrong with me?"

_Oh Sarah, nothing is wrong with you. It's just…you and I attempted this once and it didn't work._

Her tears abruptly ended in a shriek of rage. "But it's ok to play with me? You'll sleep with me, keep giving me tidbits to keep me close – take everything I can give – but you can't give me the words? How screwed up is that?

_Sarah, you are aware of my feelings on the matter. You know I am not "playing with you". At least, not without your consent._

Voice colder than he'd ever heard it, she spoke four soft words. "Leave, Goblin King. Now."

Helpless in the raw emotions he could feel in her, he did the only thing he could think of – he complied with her demand.

O

O

O

O

Sarah crawled into bed; aching and weary. Nothing would change; it hadn't yet. The next time she called he'd act like nothing had transpired.

Closing her eyes against the fresh surge of pain and grief, she prayed sleep would take her quickly. "I don't want to be in love with you either, Jareth. I can't help it any more than you can."

His presence brushed softly through her mind. _I know. And…I'm sorry, Sarah."_

Her tired laughter flowed into him. _Don't apologize, Jareth. We both know it's not going to change anything._

_Probably not,_ he agreed. _Goodnight, Sarah._

She hated that she wanted him with her, but his presence soothed, as it usually did. She couldn't help the small contented sigh she made as her head settled further into her pillows. _Goodnight, Jareth._

O

O

O

O

_**A/U So…I don't know if I'm going to continue this or make it a stand-alone fic, so opinions would be greatly appreciated. I skipped a lot of explaining that isn't really necessary to the story, so I hope it wasn't difficult to understand. Love me, hate me, can't figure me out…R&R please!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**For now…a bit of an explanation for a lovely reviewer. I can't promise that it'll fully make sense, as men's minds are twisted and confusing…and Jareth's more than most. But I do hope you enjoy!**_

O

O

Jareth stepped into the house slowly, not quite understanding what was going on. "Sarah?"

"Jareth," she purred as she walked toward him. She seemed to glide, until she tripped over her bare feet.

Moving quickly, he caught her and raised his eyebrow when she just giggled and rubbed against him. With Sarah in his arms, he walked over to the couch, and noticed the empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table. "You're drunk," he said, disgusted.

"I am not." She sat up, still on his lap but seemingly in control of herself. "I assure you, my mind is still functioning perfectly. It's just my sense of balance that seems to be off."

He merely sighed. "Why did you feel the need to become inebriated?"

Eyes clouded, she shivered. "Why can't you give me the words, Jareth?"

A frustrated growl broke from low in his chest and he rose to his feet, depositing her on the couch. Starting to pace, he looked back to find her with arms curled around her knees and watching him intently. "I…" he began, just to find that he didn't know how to continue. "You're not going to remember this in the morning anyway, Sarah."

Shaking her head, she spoke softly. "It doesn't matter. I'll remember that I got some explanation…some sort of closure. I have bared my soul to you countless times, and this is killing me, Jareth."

He refused to look at her. He didn't want to do this, and he certainly didn't want to see her face as he tried to explain something he didn't fully understand. "You are good to me, Sarah. Better than anyone I have ever known. Partly…I am afraid of losing that, of losing you. You try to give me everything I want, everything I ask for, and I don't deserve it. I'm not a good man, Sarah…and you deserve so much better." Gods, it stung to admit that.

_Jareth _Her voice was a sweet, intimate caress in his mind. _You're being an idiot._ She swallowed a laugh at his outraged expression. _There has to be a reason why we can't stop loving each other, no matter how hard we try. You and I…fit. Besides, _this time it was her turn to sigh. _As far as I'm concerned I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. You are a fae King, and I am just…me. You are literally the man in my dreams. I, Jareth, am just as afraid of losing you._

"Now it is my turn to ask a question. Why are you so obsessed with words? You know how I feel; you feel it through me, just as I can feel you. Why do you keep demanding I say it?"

She just looked at him, having trouble believing he could be so stupid. Finally, after a full minute of silence, she spoke. "We are very close, you and I…but your evasions and refusals put a veil of lies and half-truths between us. It shouldn't be there, and I don't like it. You want me to make the decision blind, with only what I feel from you, and no corroboration. I can't do that, Jareth, and I shouldn't have to. You want to not be to blame if it goes up in flames, and it just doesn't work that way. You should know by now that I wouldn't blame you anyway."

Emotions turning his eyes dark, he walked over and knelt in front of her. "I am almost sorry you won't remember this tomorrow." He reached out to touch her face; a light caress. _I do love you, Sarah. I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me._

Sarah gasped as the truth of those words hit her hard. Tears shimmering in her eyes, she leaned down to kiss him softly. _I don't care that I won't remember it. Hearing you say that…it is worth everything to me._

Rising to his feet, he lifted her with him, cradled against his chest. "It's time to go to bed, little Sarah." A small smile tugged at his mouth when she murmured and buried her face in his neck. He walked slowly to her bedroom, and laid her gently down. When she refused to let go of his neck, he chuckled and slid down next to her. "I will stay for now, but only until you fall asleep."

"Jareth…I"

"Goodnight, Sarah," he said sternly as he began to stroke her hair.

Soon, she was sleeping peacefully, wrapped in his arms. He softly disentangled himself and turned into the owl so he could go home to his empty bed. _Maybe someday I will say those things to you when you're sober. But not yet, you're not bound to me firmly enough, and I don't think I'd survive another refusal of my offer._

_O_

_O_

A white owl flew silently over the ground, to disappear in mid-flight. If anyone saw it, they just figured they'd imagined it, and went about their business. The only one who would have believed the sight lay curled around a pillow, sleeping soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

_**This will be the end. Perhaps not the end I would have liked, but the one that fits the story. You have been warned.**_

_**As always, the disclaimer applies.**_

_**O**_

_**O**_

_**O**_

_**O**_

_**Six months later:**_

"There is someone else, Jareth." Voice flat, she spoke to the wall, refusing to look at him.

"What?" Jareth, unable to form even an entire sentence, felt a bolt of pain rip through him.

She turned then, and he could see the anguish in her eyes; the tear-tracks on her face. "His name is Dale. He is glad to have me in his life, he genuinely wants me, and he doesn't have a problem telling me that."

"Sarah, I…"

She stopped him with a hand. "Stop. It doesn't matter anymore. I have loved you for a long time, and have stubbornly held onto hope. I have accepted every test you put to me, and have been as loving and understanding as I possibly could." Her voice became choked with tears and she couldn't continue.

Trying to comfort, he stepped toward her; only to watch her quickly move away from his hand. _Sarah, look at me._

Her head shot up. "Don't. Don't talk to me like that anymore…it hurts, Jareth. I will always love you, and I will always be here for you…but I refuse to be alone any longer because you don't have the courage to admit what you feel. Please, Jareth," she whispered, "please go now."

For Jareth, time stopped in that moment. As the first tear fell from mis-matched eyes, his heart stopped beating and the world stopped turning. The Goblin King hadn't cried in a thousand years, but in that moment the enormity of what he had lost crashed down on him.

He disappeared in a shower of sparkles, but not before he saw Sarah…his Sarah…fall to the floor weeping.

O

O

O

O

**_Well...depressing isn't it? You'll find that this is my only fanfic with an unhappy ending. I wanted to give this one a happy ending, but it just didn't work out that way. I appreciate your reviews, and thank you so much for reading._**


End file.
